Finding out that your partner is cheating is devastating.
There’s no good way to realise, but knowing sooner rather than later can stop you from wasting time on a doomed relationship.
But how do you know if your other half is cheating on you?
Cheating, or infidelity, is one of the more challenging problems that can
come up in a marriage. In most cases,
even when you confront your partner
with accusations of cheating, it will be denied or you will be made to feel like the “crazy one.” Unless you have hard evidence or irrefutable proof, most will not admit it. There are many behaviors that are indicative of an affair .
However, it is quite possible that your spouse could have these behaviors and not actually be having an affair. What may be a warning sign in one relationship may be nothing to be concerned about in another relationship.
There are many signs that are more
obvious. For example, going outside to talk on the phone a lot, clearing the
internet history on the computer, not
being where the GPS says he or she is, and so on. Sometimes it isn’t one
obvious thing, but numerous behaviors in totality that raise your infidelity radar.
Research commissioned to mark the
release of Finding Your Feet on DVD spoke to 1,000 couples about what the most common tip offs are from a cheating partner.
Much of what suggests you’re playing away is grooming related. Applying fake tan regularly, wearing a new perfume or aftershave is a bad sign.
Another common sign that there’s something going on is if your partner is going on regular nights out with ‘new’ friends or colleagues.
Cheating isn’t cheap (hotel bills, meals out, possibly even a second phone) so unexplained bank transactions are a big tip off.
According to the poll, someone who is having an affair is likely to want more sex with their partner (guilt, or just a boosted libido?) while a further seven percent of those polled said they realised their other half was playing away when they started
eating foods they wouldn’t try before.
What do you do if you think your other half is cheating? Well, the survey showed 79% said they would have no qualms about going through their partner’s phone if they thought they were being unfaithful.
If they are cheating, that doesn’t always mean the end of your relationship. Nearly half (48%) said there was no way they could ever forgive their husband or wife if they had an affair, but a more understanding 39% reckon they would try and make a go of it despite their infidelities.
It’s important to remember that even if you suspect someone is cheating, trying to control their behaviour, stop them from going out or restrict their contact with other people is controlling or even abusive behaviour.
Warning Signs That a Spouse May
Be Cheating on You:
- Your spouse seems bored. Bored with you, with a job, with kids, with hobbies, with life in general.
- Your spouse seems to want danger or thrills in his/her life.
- There is considerably less intimacy or connection in your relationship.
- Your sex life is practically non-existent. Or, there are lots of new things introduced into sex that were never before.
Signs that your partner might be cheating on you
- Your partner starts receiving calls and texts in the middle of the night – 44%
- Your partner suddenly starts working late – 43%
- Your partner keeps their phone by their side – 41%
- Your partner starts spending time with friends you haven’t met – 40%
- Your partner changes the passcode to their phone – 34%
- Your partner keeps passwords and pin numbers secret – 30%
- Your partner starts going away on business – 30%
- Your partner keeps their phone on silent – 30%
- Your partner archives messages so they are hidden – 27%
- You notice unexplained bank transactions – 27%
- Your partner suddenly changes their style and clothes – 25%
- Your partner has more than one social media account – 23%
- Your partner turns their phone off at night – 18 percent
- Your partner starts wearing a new perfume or aftershave – 15%
- Your partner buys a new wardrobe – 14%
- Your partner is always complaining about being tired – 14%
- Your partner has new tastes and demands in the bedroom – 13%
- Your partner starts treating you to unexpected gifts – 10%
- Your partner suddenly comes off Facebook – 10%
- Your partner suddenly got into foods they weren’t into before – 7%
- Your partner suddenly wants more sex – 6%
- Your partner starts fake tanning – 3%